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                    <text>UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:08 Page 19

Living Non Violently
Rob Fairmichael
I’m a Protestant from the south of Ireland,
married to a Catholic also from the south of
Ireland, but we’ve lived in Belfast since 1975. I
went to boarding school in the Border region
of Northern Ireland and that was an
interesting experience because it was a good introduction to
the Protestant community in the North.
In school there was a British army cadet force which I was a member of
for a couple of years. We were watching a British army training film on
hand to hand combat. One side were the British and one side were the
Russians, one side were doing all the winning and one side were doing all
the dying, but there was no blood and guts. I think it was something
about that lack of balance and surreal nature that made me think this is
ridiculous. I think part of my reaction could have been because of
Christian teaching, in terms of “loving your enemy,” and I suppose coming
from the south I was a bit removed from it – I didn’t identify with British
institutions like the Army and so I looked at it maybe in a different way.
So I handed back my uniform and said “that’s it, no” The school very
.
much saw the cadet force as part of the institution and when I started
speaking out against that kind of approach at one stage the Principal
told me to “shut up or get out” – that was a testing experience for a 16
year old to have. It was 1969 and that was the start of my involvement in
nonviolence and peace activities.
The Troubles in Northern Ireland were a challenge
for anyone believing in nonviolence. At times it
seemed that all sides (republicans, loyalists, state,
and those in alliance with these three) each
supported whatever violence they could get away
with. After involvement with ‘Dawn’ peace
magazine from 1974 and Bishopscourt Peace

19

�UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:08 Page 20

Camp from 1983-6, an Irish Network for Nonviolent Action Training and
Education (INNATE) was born in 1987 which I became coordinator of in a
voluntary capacity. The hope was to provide a support mechanism for
those involved and committed to nonviolence and nonviolence training.
One fairly early and important piece of work which we did was in
pioneering monitoring/observing work in Northern Ireland which, along
with other developments, has played an important role in preventing
escalation in contentious situations and continues to be used, more on a
local and interface level.
I would like to think that in the four decades since I have tried to practise
nonviolence my beliefs have deepened, expanded, and matured; they
have certainly developed but I am aware that I do not have all the
answers, and I haven’t even come across all the questions. But I have
certainly become aware of the range and depth of nonviolence and
aware of many or at least some of the possibilities. My work in
nonviolence training is about helping others to explore these
possibilities. My work with INNATE in general is about helping the peace
and reconciliation sector, and allied sectors, to develop, and become a
force for transformation in Ireland and more widely.
We all have possibilities to act nonviolently, even in the most difficult
circumstances; the task is to persuade people they have choices, explore
the nonviolent choices that exist, and prepare people for them. That, and
the awareness of it, did not exist when the Troubles developed.

20

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                    <text>UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:08 Page 21

Out on the
Streets
Mary Kelly
Well basically what happened was that I saw kids
throwing stones and bottles and I thought -look at all the size of them ;
do they realise what’s going on ; do they realise the consequences if
bigger people got involved ; somebody could end up shot; some child
going for a bottle of milk could lose their life because of this. So that’s
when I went out into the street and thank God I had a couple of people
who also came out with me. At the beginning I was more or less just
out, as people would say, “slabbering.”

This was the start of the “interfaces” when a wee crowd would come up
from the Protestant end and a wee crowd from the Catholic end and it
was 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other. I could stand back and see that
there were kids caught up in it. I wondered how I could get across there
to the “other side” to get to know some of the woman down there so I
would be able to say to them to keep their kids away and we on our side
would do the same. And then as it flourished and people got to know
you, they knew you were doing it for a purpose.

21

�UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:08 Page 22

I believed that every man in his
house had a responsibility to
know where his kids were and
what they were doing. We
approached lots of parents and
asked them if they knew where
their kids were and what they were doing? We
didn’t care what religion they were and warned them that it was time
they did know where they were and that they needed to go and get
them. My name got around – “she’s out there she is,” and the kids used
to shout –“here come Mary Kelly.“ You would have thought I was
carrying a machine gun.
Nobody really threatened me. You would have got the odd one
shouting out their neck –“who do you think you are?” I would say –“I
don’t think I’m anybody but I’m telling you we’re not having it; we’re not
letting this area go down the tube; I’ve seen too many areas going down
the tube and this one certainly isn’t. I’ve worked too hard buying my
house and I’m still paying for it and I’m not putting up with you or
anybody taking this away from me and that’s the way it’s gonna be.”
On reflection I would say I still wouldn’t let anybody do anything if I
thought somebody was in danger. It’s my nature; I can’t help myself; I
would have to get involved no matter who it would be if I thought that
somebody was deliberately abusing someone. If I was about I would
have to say-“here what’s going on?” I can’t help my nature. It’s not being
nosey. The way I look at it is if everybody took that stand- ‘well I wouldn’t
like that done to my child’ –then maybe we would have a better place.

22

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                    <text>UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:08 Page 23

Supporting Mixed
Marriages
Anne Odling-Smee
We came to Northern Ireland in 1970 as my
husband obtained a post here as a surgeon.
We are in a Mixed Marriage and have raised
our children within our two traditions, baptising
them alternately as Roman Catholic and Anglican (Church of Ireland).
In 1974 I was introduced to people who were starting a support group
for couples planning or in a mixed marriage. We had experienced a
certain amount of critical and indeed unchristian comment because
we had married outside of our tradition and so had the people with
whom we decided to become involved.
In the early days of the
Northern Ireland Mixed
Marriage Association (NIMMA),
as we called the support
group, we spent a lot of time
helping and supporting each
other and the couples who
made enquiries by letter or telephone. It was not safe to use our own
numbers as many people felt it wise to be ex-directory but Corrymeela
House sheltered us as a postal address and telephone enquiry point.
We were helping couples to understand the guidelines which the
churches were supposed to follow about the conduct of a mixed
marriage ceremony or baptism, but also to provide support when they
faced other obstacles. For example, we had a couple where the bride
was a Catholic and her family were very hostile to her marrying a
Protestant and so would have no part in the wedding. The ceremony was
arranged but where to celebrate it? NIMMA decided to provide the food
and the reception took place in the nearby home of hospitable
members.

23

�UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:08 Page 24

Another issue we worked on was housing. It was at a very troubled time
in Northern Ireland and a couple came to us who were living in a
Catholic housing estate, but the husband as a Protestant felt unsafe and
they needed to move. So we contacted our friends in the Association of
Inter Church Families in England. They found a clergyman who with the
help of his congregation found a house into which our couple could
move.
Housing has been a big issue, particularly if as a couple you did not have
enough money to choose where you lived. When people were
intimidated we could put them in touch with Housing Aid and other
organisations and we began to campaign for Housing without Labels,
but a big change needed to happen.
After the Good Friday Agreement the Housing Executive announced
that they were working out a strategy for Shared Social Housing as so
many of their estates were segregated and not safe for people in mixed
marriages, nor often for ethnic minority people. NIMMA was given a
place on the Advisory Board and so we were able to explain what our
couples needed and urgently. The housing application forms had three
categories ‘Catholic,’ ‘Protestant’ and ‘Other’ - but we are not other. We
are inter church, cross community and mixed. We bring two traditions to
the table. After a good discussion it was agreed that a category ‘Mixed’
would be added so that couples could apply for a house in a Shared
Neighbourhood, or in a Shared Development – housing without labels.
In NIMMA we know that as a group you can make structures change so
that those people who want to be together, not separate, can be so. We
think this is what being a Christian means. A great many people in
Churches and wider society
have done their best to help.
It just needs to become
infectious - NO LABELS.

24

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                    <text>UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:08 Page 27

The good
neighbour
‘Donna’
It was a typical estate where there was nothing going on
apart from drug dealing, paramilitary beatings, and paramilitary
shootings -they used to be regular occurrences. In the late 90s it was the
early days of the peace process and the Good Friday Agreement so
tensions in the estate were still very high. The police and the army land
rovers would patrol the estate and young thugs had nothing better to
do other than to stone them. That was just on an ordinary day before the
big rioting started. Come the evening the balaclavas came on, the milk
bottles were filled, walls were knocked down to provide ammunition to
throw at the police. It was just “open season” and crazy. I just wanted to
get home before dark, get everything set, the house locked up and stay
in.
I can’t for the life of me remember how exactly I found out about it. It
involved our neighbours- the husband was Protestant and his wife was
Catholic. Obviously Drumcree had happened and road blocks were
being put up. He had got a telephone call to his place of work to say –
“we know you are married to a Catholic; we don’t want Catholics in this
estate ; you’ve got until tonight to get out or we’re going to come and
burn you out.” He took that security risk very seriously and he literally
pulled up (at his house). He had two kids and he got the kids out and his
wife. He took the basic stuff and he came and knocked on my door and
told me what was happening. That was it -he’d packed his stuff and was
gone. I got to thinking- well if they are coming to petrol bomb their
house that’s maybe their
incident, but what happens if the
house next door catches fire? The
girl next door is partially deaf
and has two young kids. You
know their life is at risk and then
my house is the next one and I

27

�UP Standing storybook_Layout 1 04/12/2013 11:09 Page 28

just thought -I’m not having my life, my neighbours’ lives or their house
being put at risk.
It was as simple as that. I went round to my mum and dad’s house and I
explained the situation. My dad gave me a fire extinguisher and I went
back home. I was not going to move and I thought if anybody came
anywhere near me or my neighbour’s house I will be putting the fire out
and that’s all there is to it. I stood in the lane behind the house and yes
there were people running up and down that alley way with petrol
bombs and they petrol bombed the police and army as they drove past.
I stood there determined that not one person would be touching that
house.
Every wee noise I was kind of like right this-this is it; this is me ready to
go. I stayed there for hours just going out the front, checking out the
front making sure everything was fine and then going round to the back
again. Then I’d check my son who was in bed to make sure he was
alright. I stayed to about 4 o’clock in the morning- it was starting to get
light so it was and the estate had quietened down and I kind of knew
that tensions had calmed a bit.
It didn’t cross my mind that I was in any danger. I was just looking out
for my neighbours despite their religion, despite anything else. They
were friends; they had two young kids; my child was living in my house
and well if I wasn’t going to do it, nobody else was willing to do it.
Somebody had to do something and I was that person.

28

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            <name>Title</name>
            <description>A name given to the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30246">
                <text>&lt;em&gt;The Hardest Word of All&lt;/em&gt;, by 'Jane' (&lt;em&gt;story details&lt;/em&gt;)</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="41">
            <name>Description</name>
            <description>An account of the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30247">
                <text>One of 16 personal accounts that were published in the book: 'Up Standing: Stories of courage from Northern Ireland'. (2013)</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="39">
            <name>Creator</name>
            <description>An entity primarily responsible for making the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30248">
                <text>The Corrymeela Community in partnership with Facing History and Ourselves.</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="49">
            <name>Subject</name>
            <description>The topic of the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30249">
                <text>Personal account</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="45">
            <name>Publisher</name>
            <description>An entity responsible for making the resource available</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30251">
                <text>The Corrymeela Press</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="40">
            <name>Date</name>
            <description>A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30252">
                <text>2013</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="42">
            <name>Format</name>
            <description>The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30253">
                <text>Text; Chapter in Book.</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="44">
            <name>Language</name>
            <description>A language of the resource</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30254">
                <text>English</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="28">
            <name>URL</name>
            <description>Non DC - URL of Organisation / Project</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30255">
                <text>http://www.storiesofcourage.net/</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="448">
            <name>Collection ID</name>
            <description>Non DC - ID for the Collection that relates to this entry</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30256">
                <text>137</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="449">
            <name>Organisation ID</name>
            <description>Non DC - ID for the Organisation that relates to this entry</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="30257">
                <text>25</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="451">
            <name>Availability Online</name>
            <description>Non DC - Availabilty Status (deposited, delayed, external, cain)</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="31634">
                <text>deposited</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
        </elementContainer>
      </elementSet>
    </elementSetContainer>
    <tagContainer>
      <tag tagId="12">
        <name>Corrymeela Community</name>
      </tag>
      <tag tagId="13">
        <name>Up Standing</name>
      </tag>
    </tagContainer>
  </item>
</itemContainer>
